I’m very aware that it has been twenty two days since I last blogged, this is a poor, poor performance, and I know it. I could blame the fact that I’m back at uni, and I have a work load, or that I’m back in Edinburgh and have a social life again… While both of these are true, I neither work as much as I should (if at all) nor do I socialise as much as I should – Facebook does not count as socialising.
This question or questions “Why is what we want different from what we need? And, why is what we do different from what we should do?”
For example, just now I want to play computer games, I need be doing my uni work, yet I’m not doing what I want to do, nor am I doing what I need to do. I wouldn’t even suggest I’m doing what I should be doing. Nevertheless, the thirst to think has grabbed me, and I’m in the mood for writing, so the questions must be answered.
Well the easy answer, the “obvious” one, the “sunday school” answer, would be that we are sinful beings, and so we do what is wrong because that is just how we are.
I agree and disagree with that, in some aspects that is true, we can never be perfect – Jesus was the only perfect human, and He was much more than that. So yes it is in a way true, but that doesn’t mean we can’t better ourselves surely… I mean, when I look around my Church I see people who are motivated, strong, honest, good and kind. I look around my class and I see people who are like this as way. Good, good people. Then I look at myself, I’m behind at Uni, I’ve missed a week or two at Church because I’m lazy. I’ve avoided doing what right because I’m weak. I’ve lied and mislead people. I’ve been mean, cruel even, yet here I am.
I know that a lot of what I’ve done isn’t good, the way I’ve interacted with other people, the way I’ve applied myself to live is wrong. Just not right. Then I look at what I’ve tried to turn my blog into – a place where God is centre, where I try to share what I know about God, and what He has taught me. It doesn’t measure up to that, at all, at the moment it hasn’t measured up to anything – since nothing has happened in the last 3 weeks.
I know that God is calling me back to the right path, to His way. I see it in the way that other people, people I’ve known to be atheists all my life, come asking me about Jesus and I think this. “Who am I to be teaching and talking about Jesus? Compared to Him and I nothing, no more than dust in the wind.” Yet He still loves me… He will still welcome me back.
In the parable of the lost son – the “Prodigal Son”
Where the Father in the story represents God, and the lost son represents people who come to back to faith, or come to faith in the first place, and the second son is representing the “Pharisees” (A religious sect).
In this story, God is look out – the son has been gone for a long, long time. Yet the Father is STILL looking out for him, searching for this lost son. When the Father sees His child trying to make it back to Him, the Father doesn’t stand and watch the son struggle, not at all. He RUNS out, literally sprints out towards the son. Hugs him, kisses him, welcomes him back. Looks after the son’s needs – new shoes, wealth, food, water. They are all seen to.
God doesn’t watch us wondering about and sit and wait for us to do all the hard work. Not at all.
When we make a step towards God, God comes to us.
I’m asking God to take me back, to forgive me for when I’ve messed up. To help me make things right. I’m praying that God will give me the strength to stick closer to Him. To represent Him better.
I know I won’t be perfect, but I’ll do my best, and that all God asks from me – that I do my best, and admit to Him when I do mess up. In exchange, He gives me what He has offered my whole life – UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! No holds bar. Eternal life, that keeps on going. He sets me free from worry, stress, guilt. I don’t have to worry about them when I’m focused on God.
Will you walk with me on my Journey back to God? It doesn’t matter where you are at the moment – near or far. You can ALWAYS get closer to God, and learn more about him.
Pray that this is true for you, as I pray now that it will be true for me.
Life is not a mystery, but LIFE is ALL about LIVING for GOD.
Thanks for reading.